Sara is a gorgeous brunette from Los Angeles who loves to smile with her hazel eyes. At 21, she has a sort of sophistication, a sense of wisdom beyond her years. Perhaps it’s how she carries herself, or even how she dresses. She loves fashion, but favors wearing mod attire. Surprisingly, she loves reading about the Middle Ages, and specifically loves T.H. White’s “The Once and Future King.” When she talks about her experiences with guys, she laughs nervously as if it’s a topic she’s never been asked (although she’s got a lot working for her, including being physically attractive and quite bright). Whatever the case, when she talks about guys, she laments over attracting the wrong guys and asking me, “When will my knight in shining armor come for me?”
Yes, she said the word “knight.” Does she still believe there are knights out there? Maybe all that reading about King Arthur has gotten to her. I’ve always been under the impression that chivalry is dead. It’s been dead since the feminist movement, although one can argue that it’s been kept alive with powerful and impressionable companies like Walt Disney with its many movies that reinforce gender roles in its movies.
Without thinking, I responded, “Okay Sara, I’m sure that ‘knight’ is out there some where. But maybe he’s pursuing a different ‘princess.’ I’m sure he’ll eventually get to you.” Princess? Why the heck did I say “princess”? I obviously do not know anything about women. I’m supposed to be consoling her.
And of course, right on cue, she said, “Gio, that doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t want to imagine that whoever I’m supposed to be with is with someone else right now. But that’s typical of you, isn’t it? You men. It’s one of your guyisms!”
Huh? What are guyisms? I grew more and more intrigued of a female’s perspective on us guys. She describes guyisms as a behavior and action that men do. It’s a performance then men do to maintain the status quo and what society requires of men. I laugh. It’s definitely something I’ve researched on. Eventually, I learned that Sara, like many other women are very much aware of our Guy Code. You know, rules like “Boys don’t cry” or “Bros before hoes.” However, Sara believes that parts of Guy Code is chauvinistic and is against chivalry, the code of knights. I know what Sara is looking for–she wants a perfect gentleman, but if that isn’t merely a fantasy, then perhaps “gentlemen” is a rare breed.
Then, why do women end up dating jerks? I think that’s a good question, a perfectly valid one. Sara couldn’t quite answer. She knows why girls tend to go out for bad boys–they are unpredictable. And for women like Sara, she loves the challenge of taming the “wildness” that is wired deep down all us guys. Maybe, that’s the reason we have terms like “whipped,” as in the sentence: “George doesn’t hang out with the boys anymore. He listens to his girlfriend. He’s whipped.” Is that a particular guyism? That once we are in a relationship, we get domesticated–that gentlemen only exist because ladies teach us how to be one for their sakes, as much as ours?
To be continued.
Photo Credit: Ludinews